Relighting Starlight
by CallyMay
Summary: "No more. No more family, No more hope. No more Lucy light of Fairytail." With a strange power causing chaois all over Fiore, Laxus and The Thunder God Tribe are sent to check out a possible cause unaware of the consequences there discovery will have. I'm very bad at this summary malarkey but its an alright story, promise! (Rated T/M for violence and smut)
1. Chapter One

Hi all, hope you enjoy! please read the A/N at the end of the chapter :)

Alas i do not own fairytail

Relighting Starlight

Chapter 1

It was a glorious moment when Natsu found her, a moment that gave her such happiness and lead her to all she had ever wanted, a family. Sure things got bad, sometimes, well most time they were worse than bad but they had always pulled through. Together. That's what made them the people they were, that's what gave her this impossible light that she was so often praised for. Her forgiveness came from love, the love for the family that gave her the home she had always so desperately wanted, the love they all so welcomely enveloped her into.

 _A family_.

She gasped for air as she sank into her chair, her body shaking, so many emotions, too many, how was one person supposed to understand so many feelings, they cut through her slashing and chipping away at the light. She watched as her shedded tears splashed onto the letter, its ink starting to softly run. She felt as though the ink had jumped off the page and wrapped its dark tendrils around her heart. She felt herself starting to crumble, so many cracks from so many things. She knew she never healed, not fully, sure she forgave it was her very nature and she never held a grudge but could she say she wasn't haunted, haunted from being so weak, from nightmares of clocks and gates, from dolls and prophecies they constantly hung in the stale air around her and her family.

 _Her family_.

Her stomach churned at the heavenly light that bloomed beside her, she felt the inky tendrils squeeze harder a crack tearing its way through her heart, she felt sick as a soft hand touch her knee. Turning her chair slightly so he could see her face. She kept her head down her eyes fixating on a spot on the floor, that was all she allowed her world to consist of her and the spot.

Loki knelt down, at a loss of what to do he reached out softly touching her leg pulling her to face him, he could feel it, they all could, feel her falling so deeply into a darkness that they wouldn't be able to reach. He cursed which ever god did this, cursed whomever wrote his Princess's fate. She didn't look at him, didn't grace him with even the pretence of happiness within this moment he doubted she even remember what happiness was. "She's okay Princess-"

"Go." She clenched her fist when her voice broke. broke like the world around her, like her family.

 _Her Broken Family._

"But Lucy-"

"Leave Loki"

"Princess you can't-"

"Force gate closure." She couldn't face them. She didn't have the right to face them, to call them family or friends. The world was so far from her now, she was a distance spectator lost to everything around her, she couldn't feel couldn't react, the world could burn around her and she doubted she would even flinch because to her the world had already burned, her world, her life, gone. Gone like Aquarius, Gone like Fairytail, gone like Natsu.

Her Family Gone.

A crazed laugh bubbled up from deep inside her. Fairytail was a family, Fairytail was supposed to be a family but family's don't break, families don't abandon each other. Natsu had abandoned her after everything, every time she stood beside him, every time she was always there enver faultering in her unbridled trust, but he still betrayed her, just like she betrayed Aquarious.

She looked at her keys, the gold and silver shinning slight, she could feel them feel Loki attempting to break through his gate feel Aries worries and constant apologies, she could feel all of their pity and it drove the tendrils deeper, further into her self-doubt and hate further into the darkness.

"Mama" she whispered to the painfully empty room. "Mama, Father, I can't feel the sun anymore. What do I do?" the glaring silence dulled the last of the light and a moment laid heavily upon the room. Shaking she let go of a breath she didn't realise she had been holding as the last tear fell. In a corner of her mind, Lucy let herself remember Natsu's smiling face before she raised her arms and fell backwards into the darkness.

Back in her room she numbly stood up, her body simply doing no longer governed by any emotions She grabbed a pair of scissors walking towards the bathroom mirror no longer recognising her reflection she roughly started to cut away at her blonde locks letting them fall like golden feathers around her till there was hardly 2 inches left. Her head tilted to the left as she took in her dead brown eyes, gone was the depth, gone any form of a spark.

"No more. No more family, No more hope. No more Lucy light of Fairytail." Her voice didn't shake as she grabbed her keys. Her body held no sign of its brokenness as she scavenged all the money she had. Her steps never betrayed her numbness as she walked away from her house, her guild and her Magnolia.

 **A/N: Hi all i hope you liked this first chapter, i'm looking for a beta well more like praying to Mavis for a beta, if your interested please pm me!**


	2. Chapter Two

I do not own fairytail

* * *

 **Chapter Two**

 **Within the Doubt**

* * *

Laxus looked out from the second floor, watching as the brawl continued to rage on. He smirked as the stripper was thrown into a wall, a small hint of pride showed as he saw Freed's rune's flicker from the impact. The wall, thankfully, was left undamaged. The guilds bank account could rest somewhat easy tonight at least.

It had been three years since the guild had restarted, and in slow ripples the guild had regained nearly all its members. The first year had been hard, with everyone scattered to the wind. It had taken a while to get the word out, not to mention rebuilding the guild hall, and everything else that needed to be done. Laxus and his team had slowly worked away, members joining them in their efforts to help Mongolia after a year's long absence. Now, as they neared their fourth year of being a guild again they had Magnolia's trust once more.

He was so lost in his thoughts he didn't notice a certain white haired bar mage walk up behind him until he heard her gentle giggle as she handed him a glass of whiskey. Thanking her with a grunt his eyes wondered back to the brawl bellow.

"It's just like old times," She said smiling down on her family, "Well almost." Both of them looked to the wall where a picture of a certain blonde haired mage was left hanging. "Still no news?" She asked, like she did almost every day.

Laxus knew she always prayed he would receive a call from one of the other guilds, a letter or something, but each day all he could do was look down and give a small shake of his head before downing his drink.

"Well, we'll find her. I bet she just got caught up training with her spirits," She giggled. Everyone knew Lucy's spirits were nearly always desperate to spend time with her. It was the most popular theory as to why she hadn't returned as evidenced by Cana's current betting pool. "I'm surprised you still have time to observe with all the extra work Master's got you doing."

"The old man's too busy with the latest copy of Sorcerer's Weekly to care what I'm doing."

"Just like old times," she whispered, once more lost within her memories.

"Who the fuck we kidding Mira?" he nearly growled, he couldn't take it anymore. It wasn't the same. He needed her back, needed her near. It was like an invisible pull constantly there, reminding him in his dreams, in every waking moment that she wasn't there. For nearly 5 years he had dreamed of her, longer, but at least before he could gaze upon her golden hair, her deep brown eyes. Now, all he had were distant memories and ghosts that refused to leave him be.

How long had it been since he'd had a good night sleep? How long since he'd heard her voice? All in all, it was slowly driving him insane and in all honesty he wasn't sure how long he could keep going. If only he'd told her, if perhaps he'd stuck by her in their year apart, maybe she wouldn't be missing now. What good did 'what ifs' ever do, apart from sending him deeper into his madness, reminding him constantly of all the massive fuck ups he'd achieved?

"I…I know it's not the same. I see it every day, in everyone. She was our heart, our laughter, through everything she was there and now…" Laxus watched from the corner of his eye as a tear fell over the banister, turning gently unhindered by only the air before shattering on the cold wooden floor below. "Now, every time someone orders I see it in their eyes. Every time someone sees a flash of blonde hair, every time some hears even the smallest of laughs, she's there. The pain is there, and what can I do? Nothing but ignore it. Just like everyone else, just like you."

"I ain't ignoring shit!" He growled.

"Really? Because she's not here!" she yelled before catching herself. "I'm sorry; I know it's not your fault I know-"

"Don't" He growled his eyes going back to the large doors. In his mind he saw her walk in, saw her face light up. The guild had grown silent, all watching. The air seemed to have become too thick, weighing down all with its suffocating silence. "I'm going on a job." And with that he turned to leave, his team silently calculating if they should join him or not.

"Running away again? What good will that do!" spat Mira, she was angry, more than that she was livid. He moped around, but no one did anything. Everyone just resigned themselves to sadness without even thinking that there was an alternative. "At least you can run away!"

"I ain't runnin' away! Fuck! Have you ever thought, that-" Then he said it, the thing that everyone was avoiding, the horrid thought that no one wanted to have. "That maybe she doesn't want to come back!?"

Silence, true silence can sometimes seem to breathe. It almost dances within the stillness that lingers. It consumes, stretching its tendrils deep into the mind and hangs delicately suffocating all it touches.

He was drowning. That's what it felt like. He was drowning in the silence he had created, like a caged animal. The need to escape, to run, was overwhelming, but just as his hand touched the cold wooden doors something caught his eye.

Gold flickered as a hunched over Loke appeared with a mighty yell, his body tensed in pain. He reached out, desperate for anything to anchor him to this world. His eyes widened slightly as he looked up to see Laxus holding him, fear in his stormy eyes. "Lucy?" he whispered

"She doesn't know I'm here- we don't have much time you-" He yelled again, his body collapsing in on itself. Only the long disbanded team Natsu had dared to step closer, desperate for news on their missing mage. "The Celestial World is collapsing, we need help. We need LUCY!" Her name was lost in his scream. For a second he flickered. "I'm getting pulled back, she knows I'm here."

"Where is she?"

"I-we don't know… She won't-" He screamed again, flickering once more in and out of this world. "Fuck, I can't hold on much longer."

"Tell us whatever you can." He said, his hands holding tighter on to Loke, as if somehow he would be able to stop him for disappearing.

"She was alone. Her emotions… She was lonely. We tried to help-" His eyes became so desperate. He was pleading for forgiveness, for letting her down, for failing his master. "Find her. We can't hold them off for much longer. Find her and bring her to our world before it's too late. Please Laxus, she's the only one that can fix all of this."

Then with another mighty scream he disappeared, leaving a stunned guild staring at nothing but the air where he had been.

Silence. It last for four long beats. Then. Chaos. All erupted into frantic shouts and questions.

"SILENCE!" Makarov yelled. "LISTEN UP BRATS. WE HAVE A MISSION. It's about damn time we brought our family back together. Go, pick missions in the furthest corners of the world, on lost islands and in forgotten caves. Pick missions both high and low, near and far. We will search for any sign, any whisper. We. Will. Bring. Her. Home. Go and find your family."

From the flurry of movement surrounding them, Laxus saw Team Natsu stare at each other. Their face's all showing the same anguish. Lucy was gone, most likely in danger. It was their fault, and Laxus was going to make damn sure they knew it.

* * *

So... i have some news... I moved to China! eeekkk! im studying here for a year so please forgive the long waits till i update i am not giving up on this story, i have it all planned out its just going to take some time to write.

also i have a Beta! shes awesome and has help me so much already.

Thank you so much to all those who reviewed and faved and followed, you guys are awesome!


	3. Chapter Three

**A/N PLEASE READ:**

Hello all! Okay so some of you are not going to like this chapter but please just keep an open mind, and perhaps don't hate me to much!

So my better suggested I add some warning as I talk about some pretty dark stuff so be warned ahead is:

 **Mildly strong Language, violence, sex, drugs, self harm and abuse.**

Chapter Three

In captured by the Moon.

She winced as her face was pushed harder against the coarse brick wall, the man behind her panting harder than a dog in heat. Was this sexy? Did this sweaty greasy man really act this way towards his wife or was this animal like behaviour only saved for her and others sold like her? She muttered some words about how 'big' he was, even though she never really paid attention. It was easy really, moan a bunch of times and say some empty compliments and just take it.

The itching underneath her skin was becoming more and more present. She knew she didn't have long before she started to freak the fuck out. From the dark alley she was currently getting screwed in she could just about see a reflection of the clock in the calm waters. There were 5 minutes left, and 30 minutes till she could meet Kraine, only 48 till she would be home.

With a final thrust he finished and she made sure to yell a little louder, before he fell backwards picking his trousers up as she hurried with her skirt. "Fuck, you're a good little piece ain't ya?" She didn't flinch at his words, she'd heard worse.

Rolling her eyes she turned around allowing the fake dumb girl facade to take over. "Well you're just so big." She giggled walking towards him, placing a hand on his chest. "Now pay up, Big guy."

"Anything for a pretty thing like you." He reached into his pocket pulling out a small bag of jewels. She quickly counted before returning to look at him with a smile.

"Don't you have a wife to be getting back too?" He laughed leaning in for a kiss, "that will cost you extra." He laughed again before running off out of the dark ally, and into the florescent street lamp that covered Crocus. She leaned against the hard brick wall before sliding down, the bag feeling heavy in her hand. 3,000 jewels, she was doing okay. She remembered the days when she could only charge 30. The shadows seemed to whisper and she knew time was running out, the itching layering itself just under her skin, gradually getting more and more persistent.

It was time to move.

Keeping to the back streets, it was easy to avoid others. Taking a simple step back into the shadows whenever someone dared to venture too close ensured she would be concealed. Not that it really mattered anymore, it was simply a habit, one that made her feel safe.

She came to a stop once she saw his over bearing shadow lingering over a sleeping man. She was deep into the backstreets of Crocus now. This is where she had started back when it had been at its worst before Kraine had helped her find a way to deal with the shadow's whispers. The street was dirty and silent. Nothing seemed to live here; no animals, no noise, as if the city had fallen away. She realised then, that she could only see Kraine's breath. Stepping closer, she studied the man on the floor.

Too still. _Dead_. It was like a whisper, and somewhere, in the back of her mind, she noted that she wasn't shocked or upset. Something that should have worried her.

The man reached out to the dead homeless man and closed his eyes before stepping back. His hair was cut short and neat. He wore a simple sweater vest over a nice crisp shirt, his trousers pressed. Even his long black coat was in perfect condition.

"I know you won't overdose, my dear little _Lilly_." She ignored the chill that ran down her spine, stepping forward into the pale light of the moon. He knew her real name, one of three people that did. He never used it though. It had power, and she was all too aware that the day he used it would be the day it was over for her.

He gently touched her face and she fought the urge to flinch away, "The glamour is working well I see."

"It does the job," she said a little harsher than normal. He frowned at her tone and she mental scolded herself. _Don't bite the hand that feeds you_ , and Kraine was her only food supply. "I-I'm sorry. I've worked hard today, I can pay you extra."

"Extra?" He asked, studying the brunette appearance she currently sported. Not his favourite, but he could see why she was working so hard.

"I need another one." Her hand trembled as she pulled out the Jewells offering them all to him.

"Another?" His eyebrows went up, and he stepped back slightly. "I gave you the last care package just a few days ago."

"And it's gone now alright?" She could feel the itching getting slowly worse, and it was taking nearly all of her concentration to control the shaking.

"Considering that you are asking for a favour perhaps you should be careful with your tone."

"I'm sorry… Please… Please may I have another batch?" His face softened. If it had been anyone else she would have thought that they cared, but not him, not Kraine. He motioned for her to step forward, and she complied. You didn't fight a man like him. "Please just a bit of Moons Bre-"

He grabbed her so quickly that she didn't have time to react, a small squeal leaving her before her face was shoved against the dead man's. She could feel the coldness of his skin against her cheek. She wanted to scream as she looked into his face. If she wasn't so close she would have thought he was sleeping. Instead she felt death, like a putrid layer it seemed to caress her where their skin met. "Look little Lilly, look at what the silly man has done all because he couldn't keep up." He shoved her face closer, so her noise was under his. "Can you smell it? He's not rotting yet, but he will be. If you're not careful you'll rot too. Do you understand Little Lilly?"

She tried to reply, but it was impossible. She couldn't breathe, her face crushed against the clothed dead flesh. Eventually, she was thrown back, landing painfully on her side.

She breathed deeply, trying not to throw up. Casually, he bent down before her, lifting her face to meet his. His hands softly stroking the cheek that he had forced on the homeless man. "I remember you, little one. All those years ago. So beautiful. Perhaps still in a way. But I like this you. Desperate. You need me don't you Lilly?"

"Yes" She whispered.

He sighed, smiling at her. "Okay. You get another batch." She physical sagged into his hand with relief. "This one's stronger, so be careful." He handed her a small brown paper bag and she quickly looked inside, ignoring his small chuckle. It seemed alive, moving delicately within its vile. She breathed deeply, letting the small slimmer of happiness from the thought of her relief wash over her. "However Little Lilly, remember this kindness. I wouldn't do this for anyone," he said. His voice was laced with a sickly kindness as he reached for the bag of jewels.

 _A threat._

 _It was bound to happen. You're pathetic enough to be used like a whore. Of course he has other uses for you._

"What do you…" She looked up, and saw only emptiness. She was alone in the dark lonely alleyway with only the dead man for company. Picking up her bag, she tucked the vile deep into the purse before she scurried away, falling back into the shadows, making sure she was as unseen as when she arrived.

The walk, it was more of a run, to the supermarket hardly took any time and was vastly uneventful. She stuck to the shadows once more and kept her head down in buzzing artificial light of the store, picking up only some bread and a bottle of whiskey. This was her celebration for getting through one more day.

 _You celebrate a lot then. Perhaps you like being worthless._

It was a dark voice, one that seemed to have followed her for the past 5 years. She needed the fix, needed something, anything to stop the shadows. They haunted her thoughts and long scarred emotions. The darkness… It had been there for so long, ever since the numbness. She wanted it back, wanted the emptiness she dreamt about so often.

She was sprinting now, her breath coming in short pants. A layer of sweat clung to her as the itching feeling seemed to burrow into her very being, so she pushed harder, faster, as if she could out run the dark thoughts in her mind.

She lived in, quite frankly, a shit hole. Rats scurried past, quickly disappearing into many holes that lined the wall. Her apartment was practically a health risk. Mould covered nearly every wall, hiding the faded and dirty remnants of what use to be, she presumed, nice flower wall paper, but now peeled from walls to reveal damp and infested wood.

Kicking off her heels, she grabbed a slice of bread before climbing on the counter. It was small; A simple open kitchen, a sunken mattress pushed up against a small window, a broken mirror in the corner and pile of clothes. The only door apart from the front door, led to a small bathroom that once again had seen better days. She didn't really care in all honesty. She had slept in worst, from swatting in crack dens, to napping on benches. At least there was no chance of waking up with some guy over you.

She took another big swig of her bottle before taking a bite of the tasteless bread. "Home sweet home." She finished the bottle before throwing it aside, not even flinching as it shattered. Jumping from the counter to lay on the mattress she took a deep breath, mentally calming her soul before she carefully took the small glass bottle out, observing the silver like liquid that seemed to dance in the flickering luminescent light of the tattoo shop across the street. Almost instantly, the itching seemed to calm. The mere thought that soon she would be able to sleep was an amazing idea. There would be no nightmares, no voice. She could rest at least for a few days.

She should ration. If she was careful she could make this batch last 3 weeks. You didn't need much, the smallest of drop could send you to the most peaceful of places. But lately… lately _they_ had been restless, fighting harder.

 _They're desperate._

It whispered and she nodded in agreement.

 _We need to control them, you need to be better. If you had been better then-_

"SHUT UP!" She screamed, causing her neighbours to bang on her wall. She sat up holding the bottle to her chest, as she felt them. They were in pain... so much pain.

 _You hurt them._

"They would be in more pain if I had just continued," She whispered.

 _They hate you._

"Yes." She looked at the bottle.

 _Hate you for what you did._

"I deserve it." Slowly, she reached for her small little kit.

 _Hate you because you used them._

"I know." She took out her already used needle.

 _Hate you for being so pathetic and weak._

"It's better this way." She whispered before taking nearly half and laying down, the now full needle to the side.

With a deep breath she removed the silver anklet. Like a wave she felt the magic around her fall, her skin seemed to breathe for the first time in forever. Slowly, she rolled her shoulders, hearing the bones creak and crack. Taking a deep breath and on shaky legs, she stumbled to the smashed full length mirror observing her true appearance for the first time in 2 years.

She didn't cry as looked at what she had become; blonde hair limp, skin paler than paper, track marks lining her delicate arms, her eyes dull and dead. She bit her already chapped lips, letting blood spill into her mouth, the tanging metallic taste offering some relief as her hand softly grazed over her guild marked hand. She traced the many cuts she had placed there. _Soon_ , she thought. _Soon I'll be free of you_. And with that she plunged the needle into her arm, letting the Moons Breath drag her under, free from thoughts, free from feelings, free from memories.

And so, as a single tear fell from her eyes, Lucy fell into a deep dreamless sleep.

On some unknown street in Crocus, beneath a dwindling moon, the street lamps flickered. They faded in and out with an electronic hum that seemed to grow. Like a symphony, neighbouring houses joined till the night was alive with an electric shout. Then all at once, in a mighty crescendo, the lamps exploded, plunging the little insignificant street into silent darkness.


	4. Chapter Four (repost)

Hi everyone sorry it took so long to get this to you, this chapter has been painful. It driven both myself and my amazing beta MWolfe13 mad. Honestly shes been magic at making this chapter readable so a massive thanks to her. Saying that its still not my fave so I will hopefully post the next one soon to make it up to you all!

I do not own fairytail.

Sorry about the last version being so messed up, hopefully this is fixed now :P

* * *

 **Chapter Four**

 **The Madness of Helplessness**

* * *

"It just doesn't make sense!" Evergreen yelled, throwing the marker against the wall before storming to a nearby chair. Freed's already deep frown somehow got deeper while Bickslow threw the ball he'd been bouncing once again, and with such force, instead of bouncing, it simply lodged itself into wall.

Nearly everyone had left, leaving the guild eerily silent. Mira had pinned up a map and was, most likely, currently tracking the location of all teams. It had been two days since Loke had shown up, and already the neighboring towns and villages had been searched and crossed off.

Over all, the guild was on the edge of a knife point and instead of falling off, Laxus felt as if he was simply slowly impaling himself. He couldn't stand it, couldn't bring himself to even step into the guild, hence why the wall in his living room was currently being logically drawn on.

"We must be missing some part of the puzzle," exclaimed Freed. He picked up the pen before turning back to the wall, absentmindedly turning it in his right hand.

"No shit Sherlock, but what?"

"What. What. What," echoed Bix's babies, speaking for the first time in a while.

" _She doesn't know I'm here. We don't have much time, you…_ "

"Ugh, Freed we've been over this."

" _The Celestial World is collapsing. We need help. We need Lucy. I'm getting pulled back. She…_ "

"Who the heck is She?" Ever whined, fanning herself as she laid back on a large leather sofa.

" _Knows I'm here. We don't know. She won't._ Explicit word."

"Jesus Christ Freed, just say Fuck."

"Fuck, fuck fuck." Laxus glared at Bickslow's babies. He knew they were only trying to make their master happy, them swearing always cheered Bix up, something about innocence or whatever, but right now it was just fucking annoying.

" _I can't hold on much longer. She was alone._ "

"Why was she alone? Surely Natsu or someone would have been with her. He never let her out of his sight when they were a team. It was inappropriate," said Ever, twiddling with her fan.

"Nah, remember when he came back? Dumb shit didn't even know the guild was disbanded."

"Erza? Gray? What about them? Surely she would have stayed with them." Everyone thought about their re-joining of the guild. It had been pretty early on in the rebuilding, but never once had they asked about Lucy.

"I presume they calculated the same as we all did. That Miss Lucy was with Natsu." A long silence followed as they all stretched their minds back to those early days. "Her emotions. She was lonely. We tried to help. Find her."

" _Find her_. Means she's not in the spirit world like we thought."

"Damn, there goes my 60 jewels."

"Really Bix, this isn't the best time to be thinking about that dumb bet."

"Pfft, said the girl who's odds just went up."

Freed rolled his eyes, casting a look at Laxus. The betting pole was a bit of a sore subject in his company.

" _We can't hold them off for much longer. Find her and bring her to our world before it's too late. Please Laxus. She's the only one that can fix all of this._ "

"Fucking hate that ending," Bickslow said. His babies echoed with a chorus of "Hate. Hate. Hate."

"Was," said Ever, catch the guy's attention. "She was alone. She was lonely. Not is. Past tense. Does that mean she's found someone?" They all looked at him, worry evident in their faces. He merely growled before turning his head to look out of the window.

"Or something. A way of coping with it all," offered Bix. It was an annoyingly warm night, the sun having only just set. The humidity was almost unbearable, sticking to your skin like a sheen of sweat. It was annoying as hell, he never had to deal with weather like this when he was in recent years had the weather decide to go fucking mental, like an extra fuck you the universe had in store for him.

"Getting pulled back," mumbled Freed. "If my memory is correct, Loke can pass into this world and his through his own magic. So, even if Lucy is currently unable to use magic, he would still be able to pass through. That means someone's keeping him in the Celestial World."

"Them," he grumbled, casting a quick glance behind him at their shocked faces. "The one with pink hair and chains can do it as well."

"It speaks. OW!" Bickslow hissed as Ever hit him with her fan.

"That just furthers my point. Someone is keeping them locked in the Spirit World, and separated from Miss Lucy."

"Which means she's defenseless."

"Has been. For a while at least." Bix stood up to look at the wall. "This ain't gettin' us anywhere, apart from depressing the fuck out of us all."

"And what do you suggest? Do you magically know where she is?" Freed grumbled.

"We can just fucking pick a place. Sitting here ain't helping. At least that way we will be doing something."

"Yes, let's just search the whole god damn world without any idea where she is. That won't waist time at all. We need to approach this logically."

"Look where your brains has gotten us so far-"

Laxus' hands gripped his already pounding head, blocking out the argument that had erupted in his living room. His dragon was just begging to be free. It screamed against everything, his mate was in trouble, suffering, and here he was sitting in his damn living room like nothing had happened. He felt hopeless and useless. It enraged him. Everything he'd done, those years of training… Fuck, even the damn lacrima being shoved into his skull was to be strong, to be the best, and yet here he was. He was as helpless as he was when he was a child, unable to protect the person that had kept him going for years. He was unable to protect the woman that didn't even know he was looking. How had he been so fucking stupid!

It stirred something in him, a mixture of so many emotions he didn't even have words for. It made his palm's sweat and his heart beat race. This boiling pot of emotions clouded his vision until all he could see was red and without a second thought, he let out a mighty roar, practically demolishing the wall that the stupid fucking map they had made was on. The room fell into silence, everyone's wide eyes on him. He felt caged like an animal at a zoo, a fucking exhibit to be gawked at; Look at the damn idiot having his melt down, isn't this a fun fucking day trip.

He roared again his hands digging into his skull before storming out into the clammy air, electricity dancing over his skin. He wanted to break more than a god damn wall. Where the fuck were a bunch of monster's when you needed them?

That's when he smelt it, the distinct smell of three fucking idiots he needed to scream at. He stormed off with a newly found purpose, ignoring the worried cries calling after him. He needed to get some answer. He had a lot to say, and something told him his grandfather wouldn't exactly mind what he was planning on saying to them.

* * *

Ezra stood in the clearing, staring at the night sky, still lost in her thoughts. She'd cried all her tears and now all that remained was sorrow and guilt, such deep guilt. The stars seemed dimmer somehow. If Lucy was here she knew they would be sparkling with all there might, as if to somehow impress their master. She probably would have sat out here for hours listing them all, telling them their stories.

She could hear them fighting. She let them for the most part. This was a long time coming, she knew that, so she let them beat each other over and over again, the sound of flesh on flesh echoing in the night, until she felt her knees give in and she slowly sunk to the floor, her hands digging into the dirt. The wetness of the soil was almost a blessing. She wanted to ground herself, to somehow force all of these emotions into the earth. It was too much. She had left her, left Lucy. Her family… her sister. She was a knight sworn to protect her family, and look at how much she had failed. How could she say she had any honor when she had failed so miserably?

She jumped when she felt a hand grasp her shoulder, and she looked up into the onyx eyes of Natsu. "We had our own heartaches to deal with." He had changed so much over the years, perhaps more so when he re-joined Fairy Tail. The absence of Lucy had matured him slightly. They had all matured in their own way.

"That doesn't excuse us all just running off, ash for breath."

"She could be hurt. She could have been suffering for years, and none of us thought of going out to find her." She couldn't help the tears that just seemed to continue to fall, her body shaking. She had been holding this back for days, unable to cry at home, not with Jellal. He was already walking on egg shells around her. They had been through so much, she couldn't dump her issues onto him. She was strong, one of the strongest in all of Fiore, and yet here she was, crying like the slave child she once was. Perhaps some things just were never meant to change.

"5 years Natsu! We abandoned her for 5 years!" Gray yelled, ice started to splinter through the ground around him.

"Don't you think I know that, Gray! Don't you think I've wanted to search for her, that I wanted our team back! But we changed! We all lost too much, we all needed time. We couldn't have known- "

"That doesn't excuse it. We were a team! Isn't that right Natsu? Above and beyond everything we were team. That didn't just stop because life got hard. How many times has that happened? We always stayed together, always had each others backs."

"Well sometimes you need to be alone! Sometimes family makes everything more complicated and adds pressure, and sometimes you just need some fucking time to breathe."

Gray screamed, preparing another blow from his ice cannon, but she was too fast. She moved quickly, deflecting it and protecting Natsu who seemed to have given up. She swung at him, letting herself feel the anger that comes from prolonged sadness. She was angry with herself, at their team, at their guild. Someone was suffering, and she'd done nothing. She reacted on habit, smashing their heads together, so they both fell to the ground. Then she laughed. The sound surprised her almost as much as it had surprised them, an uncontrollable giggle that just seemed to continue till eventually she broke into tears.

Ages seemed to pass, the boys simply sitting on the ground letting Ezra get all of her tears out till, with a shaky smile, she looked up at them. "I wasn't strong enough, I'm still not. After everything, we are still just those kids facing one world crisis after another."

"Ha, but we do it with more style now," said Gray, sending a smirk to Erza, indicating his still fully clothed body.

"It was too much, losing him again, finding out- I needed to get my head together and then when we came back…" Muttered Natsu

"Life."

"Yeah" He grunted in agreement. "I mean fuck, look at where we are. I have a kid Gray, you do as well! Running off like we did? Its just not possible anymore."

"I could have." They all sat in sad silence as her words echoed in the night. "I don't have kids, I cant- I could have-"

"Erza no. You needed to be here, you were needed here."

"Really Gray? I've gone on missions that lasted years, and yet at some point, I just stopped asking about her, stopped trying to find her. I sometimes thought-"

The end of the sentence hung in the sticky air, she didn't need to finish it. He had thought the same thing as well. Lucy, his Luce, she was a sign of the past. He didn't know how long he had felt this way. He just knew that at some point, he looked up at the night sky and sent a prayer that she was happy and that wherever she was, she was content enough not to come back. "That it was better that she stayed gone," Natsu whispered quietly.

It came so quickly her mind didn't have time to process. Instead all she could do was bite back the scream that clawed at her throat. From her place on the ground she could see Gray and Natsu violently spasm, yellow lightning ghosting along there skin, there face in equal pain.

"Did you even tell her goodbye?" Laxus hissed, lightning running over his skin.

"Laxus?" She nearly gasped as another round of lighting moved through her body.

"After everything? Was it all talk?" He kicked Ezra in her side, her body flying to the left before rolling over the ground. She stayed down, but Natsu knew she wasn't truly hurt. She would take whatever punishment she could, that's how she worked. Physical pain was easier to deal with than mental.

"Family… Family was everything to you. Isn't that what you always say, Natsu? That Namaka comes first? That nothing matters, because your family will always be there?" Lifting him by the throat, Laxus looked him dead in the eyes. "You're supposed to better than us!" He yelled, tossing him to the ground, his fists making direct contact over and over again. "You're supposed to have this never ending faith in family!" A wave of ice sent him back, and Natsu saw Gray standing there panting. This wasn't a fight, no, it was like some messed up therapy.

"Did you do anything different?! You needed time just as much as we did."

"That's different! I thought she was safe with you, with the people who valued family above everything. I thought you would keep her safe!" Natsu didn't move as a Laxus send a mighty roar his way. He closed his eyes and waited for it to hit. He could feel Laxus' dragon in every word he spoke. He needed this, needed to blame someone or he would go mad blaming himself. Perhaps in this, he could be a better Namaka, but Instead of the wall of lightning, he head a pained cry. Natsu watched his rival fly, and flinched as Gray went through a tree. He watched Ezra run over, but he himself couldn't seem to move. No matter how badly he wanted to fight, wanted to explain, he couldn't move. They deserved this. All of them. They had abandoned her. It's all true, everything he'd said. He had abandoned his partner. The guilt of finally admitting he wanted her to stay gone was swarming inside him. He didn't care that a new attack was coming any second. He simply looked as Laxus shifted into dragon form. Perhaps if the roles were reversed, he would be doing the same.

Laxus' mind was reeling. He'd heard everything, and couldn't seem to mentally organize anything. His heart was the only thing he could seem to understand, the pounding that had taken over his hearing and sight. He wasn't even aware he had let his power consume him until he felt a sudden impact push him to the ground.

"Boss!" Bickslow ran head first, tackling him to the ground and taking the full force of the lightning. He grit his teeth as his body convulsed until eventually, Laxus calmed down and Bickslow was able to let him go. At some point he had lost control of his magic, let his emotions consume it. Instant shame filled him, he was fucking failure. They both laid there, breathing heavily, letting the silence fall over all of them.

Eventually, Laxus whispered, "You're a son of a bitch, you know that right?"

Bickslow laughed, letting his tongue hang out as he flashed his signature grin at a worried Ever who knelt down beside them. "Couldn't let you kill em' boss man, Cosplayer would have been pissed when we find her." Almost instantly the small smirk was gone, and he turned his head back to the sky, watching as the morning sun start to rise.

"They left her, that's why she hasn't come back. None of them said goodbye. They all just left." He could feel his anger once more. Distantly, he was aware of the remnants of Team Natsu listening in to there conversation, but he couldn't give a fucking damn. Granted, he shouldn't have tried to kill them, but he was still pissed.

"We never said Goodbye Laxus-sama" And there was the truth. Like a ton of metaphorical bricks. The thought they all tried to avoid, and once more that thick layer of guilt returned, clouding everything in fog. Even his anger seemed to be smothered. He smelt salt in the air, and knew Ever was crying.

"Did anyone?" Ever sniffed, and they all thought about it for a very long second.

"Fuck. I don't think anyone did. No wonder Cosplayer's mad," said Bickslow, letting out a long and low sigh.

"I'm not sure that is the correct terminology. Miss Lucy is smart. She would understand that we all lost something, that we all needed time."

"Great. So she's not mad, just disappointed." They sat in silence for a long time after that. None of them had really thought about it all. They had just dealt with it, and placed their lives back in working order. Their poisoning and near death… They were just memories now, painful ones, but memories all the same. Their wounds had healed, they were alive and together. There wasn't much to mentally organize after so long and yet it seemed to have reared its ugly head once again, demanding to be thought of, to be felt.

"What do we do now?" She asked, looking at all three of them.

"We take a mission. One far from here, where we won't run into anymore guild mates."

"Shouldn't we go to Sabertooth? Talk to the other Celestial Mage, Yuki-something?"

"I believe Miss Levy would be better for that particular task, and besides, I know of another Celestial Mage. Two are always better than one. Plus, I believe I saw the perfect mission. It is not S-Class, but will be more than enough to keep us all distracted. If I recall correctly, no one has looked there yet." Freed producing a flyer from his jacket pocket, and handed it to Laxus.

"Fuckin' A. So where too Boss Man?"

Looking up, he meet each of his teams graze, knowing the Freed had picked well. Ever could shop, Bickslow could drink and Freed had a mystery to keep his mind occupied and he, well, he had a chance to do something! So with a deep breath he, looked back at the paper and said, "Crocus."


End file.
